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Gun Shy

Simon West is a bad director. In fact, I bet the only film anyone dares defend him on is Con Air (his first) and that’s even a weak argument. His credits include movies you have forgotten about like teen horror thriller When a Stranger Calls, Nicholas Cage’s direct-to-dvd Stolen, and two Jason Statham action flicks The Mechanic and Wild Card. Gun Shy is exactly the type of movie would you expect West to direct, it’s poorly written, acted, ridiculous, cheesy and entirely forgettable. Banderas inhabits a role Adam Sandler would have filled five years ago. Both practical and visual effects are low quality despite some beautiful drone captures of the Malibu coastline. It basically turns into a Rock of Ages meets Snatched.

Retired rocker Turk Henry (Banderas) and his ex-model wife Sheila (Kurylenko) bored from clean living, following rehab, travel back to Henry’s Chilean roots. Uninterested in spending time with his wife or celebrating culture, he drinks beer in a lounge chair at a secluded hotel. “The band is over, but not your life.” Sheila is kidnapped on a llama tour up in the mountains by a good-looking pirate Juan Carlos (Cura). Both Tuck and Sheila must reevaluate their priorities if they ever want to see each other again. American law enforcement agent Ben Harding (Valley) won’t let Turk pay the kidnapping ransom because they believe it could be terrorism. Turk for the first time in his life must do something for himself, which also just might inspire a new song and a future.

Slapstick isn’t the Desperado stars strongest suit.

Banderas is dressed up like a drag version Bernadette Peters as he flounces around yelling “I Don’t Speak Spanish”, straddling a runaway suitcase in one scene. Slapstick isn’t the Desperado stars strongest suit. Even worse is the hokey comedy Mark Valley is trying to pull off, lessening this action comedy to the lower levels of canceled television. The script is filled with clichés and dialogue like, “Where is your sense of adventure?” Certainly not in here, would be my reply. It’s sitcom entertainment at best. While it may not be the same film, Gun Shy and Amy Schumer’s Snatched hit the exact same beats. Just another film where Americans get kidnapped in South America.

Former Bond girl Olga Kurylenko (Quantum of Solace) might be the most interesting element to the movie. If there’s a legitimate Trump film in the works, Kurylenko would be a dead ringer for the first lady. Because Banderas isn’t that interesting in this character, supporting characters must fill out the remaining time frame, which means they all get their little specific side show. Gun Shy is the product of lazy creative skills and allowing narrative to just lay where it falls, regardless whether it makes sense or not. In true Adam Sandler fashion, it’s one of the worst films of 2017.

Final Thought

An awful Adam Sandler action comedy, just without Sandler.

D-

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