Puerto Ricans in Paris
Dustin Chase
This is where accusations might be thrown towards film critics being pretentious, but the simple fact is Puerto Ricans in Paris is not worth even being shown in a theater. It’s gotten VOD written all over it (which it will also hit the same day of a select theatrical release). If Puerto Ricans in Paris does have some small sliver of an audience, it’s certainly not those who pay to see movies in a theater. Everything from the acting, the script, the comedy, it’s all bad, stereotypical, boring and downright cheap. It actually feels more like an episode of some soon-to-be-canceled television show that never found a viewership.
NYPD detectives Luis (Guzmán) and Eddie (Garcia) are not only partners on the job, but brother-n-laws off the clock. Eddie married Luis’s sister Gloria (Parez) who is currently mad at him because he forgot their anniversary again. While the two overweight Puerto Rican detectives just successfully shut down another counterfeit shop, they have been requested to aid in an investigation in Paris. Never having traveled across the pond, the fellas are offered $150,000 each if they recover a priceless stolen designer handbag from Colette (Taglioni) and her yet-to-be-released collection. Luis thinks he is going to be the big croissant in the city of love, but it’s the more reserved Eddie who has the charm, creating tension between the detectives as they try to stay focused.
As cheap as the counterfeits its characters are chasing.
The entire country of France should be offended, since the only reason given for bringing two joe schmo’s from New York all the way over to Paris is that “French cops are too slow”. That’s it, the only reason this script provides for making a movie about New York cops in Paris. The rest borders on a Pink Panther type movie, except with some hardcore expletives thrown in when Luis gets angry. There is a reason Guzmán has played the supporting actor for the last 20 years. Both Edgar Garcia (who is the real star here) and director Ian Edelman, make their feature film debuts, you guessed it, graduating from television.
As the detectives interview the four prime suspects, they opt for a different cultural disguise. Clearly this is a comedy and the “mystery” of the case isn’t as important as the humor. The entire idea of a caper film about a kidnapped purse is only one of the movies absurdities. Puerto Ricans in Paris is as cheap as the counterfeits its characters are chasing, thank goodness it’s a short film. Bigger name actresses Dawson and Parez only appear in two short bookend scenes so their marquee names can draw a bigger crowd. There is never an ounce of this movie reaching toward anything more than low brow entertainment.
Final Thought
Counterfeit Entertainment.